Dad saw this on TV, looks fucking interesting.

Submitted to FailBlog, please vote here.

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Expect very little of me in the next 2-3 weeks you guys.

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Yesterday
5:35pmMalik

im in a war in mafia i need help
5:35pmAlec

I'm sorry.
5:36pmMalik

u aint goin help
5:36pmAlec

Newp.
5:36pmMalik

y
5:39pmMalik

hello y aint u i did it 4 ur war ginst cory
5:39pmAlec

lol i never ever ever play mafia wars on here

I play on myspace.
5:40pmMalik

itz da same thang
5:40pmAlec

Yeah, but I'm a shit level on here.

I'm 204 on myspace.

*215
5:41pmMalik

so adat dont mean u can help me on da war thing this is a hard one 4 me and plus ur apart of my mafia
5:41pmAlec

Okay

Still no.
5:43pmMalik

y not
5:43pmAlec

BECAUSE I DONT CARE

I DONT CARE AT ALL
5:43pmMalik

y u play it den
5:44pmAlec

I DONT PLAY IT

I PLAY IT ON MYSPACE
5:44pmMalik

same freakin thing wat part of dat dont u undastand dang
5:45pmAlec

Okay well let me put it simple.

No, I do not want to help you.
5:46pmMalik

Y dont u want to help me
5:48pmAlec

Because my mom won't let me.
5:48pmMalik

wat da hell wat yo momz gotta do wit this

itz yo myspace
5:49pmAlec

im trying to take a shit
5:50pmMalik

k u makin excuses now 4 reel im jus askin 1 time and i wnt ask or bug u no more
6:02pmAlec

okay

No.
6:03pmMalik

y not wat is da reeel resin
6:04pmAlec

I don't want ot.
6:04pmMalik

y dnt u wnt to
6:04pmAlec

because im fat and lazy
6:05pmMalik

watdafukeva
7:53pmMalik

u change ur mind yet
7:53pmAlec

Nope./
Today
12:46pmMalik

changed ur mind
12:46pmAlec

FOR FUCK'S SAKE NO

AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE NO

NOW FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING JESUS CHRIST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE
12:47pmMalik

changed ur mind

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet
12:48pmAlec

smouch.net/lol/
12:48pmMalik

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet
12:48pmAlec

Go to that site
12:48pmMalik

y
12:48pmAlec

It's a mafia wars site
12:49pmMalik

is it good
12:49pmAlec

Yeah, it's awesome.
12:49pmMalik

will u help me on tht
12:49pmAlec

It's super easy to use.

Just go to it.
12:50pmMalik

im there

wat is this

this aint no mafia thing
12:51pmAlec

What showed up?
12:51pmMalik

an old lady
12:51pmAlec

Oh really?
12:53pmAlec

I was sure it was a mafia wars site...
12:53pmMalik

aight i went to anotha one its a sheep sayin hobo
12:54pmAlec

Good for you.
12:54pmMalik

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

all u gotta do is help me one time and dats it i wont botha u no more\
12:56pmAlec

You know I can just delete you from my friend's list, but stupid people amuse me so I'm keeping you on, right?
12:58pmMalik

i can do that to you but retarded and nerdefide people amuse me so im keepin you on to
12:58pmAlec

nerdefide?

Lol, the fuck does that mean?
2:24pmMalik

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

changed ur mind yet

i guess not
2:32pmAlec

Still haven't told me what "nerdefide" means, Einstein.
2:41pmMalik

it means u
2:48pmAlec

Wow, took you that long to answer, huh sport?
2:49pmMalik

i dnt play sports

sept basketball

and football
2:50pmAlec

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am so putting this conversation out on the internet.

You are probably the stupidest person ever.
2:51pmMalik

im jst kidding with u dumba**
2:51pmAlec

Yeah yeah, sure you are.
2:51pmMalik

ur dumb not knowing dat i am ur retarded

i no wat u mean by sport dummy i was jst seeing wat ur gonna say
2:51pmAlec

LMFAO
2:52pmMalik

god u stupid
2:52pmAlec

You really think I'm going to fall for your excuses?

Then you call me stupid, yet you say, "ur dumb not knowing dat i am ur retarded"
2:52pmMalik

synonyms

your all 3
2:53pmAlec

Okay well here we go, it's you're, not your.
2:54pmMalik

wat iz wrong wit u im writing short now u actin lik i was joking to act like

dnt no no other way to put it
2:54pmAlec

Stop playing it off like you're not stupid and that you're just joking around. I know you're dumb. It's okay dude.
2:57pmMalik

okay you no what i'll talk proper to your dumbass from now on trying to say im dumb look at your ass your fat and lazy like you said you're not involved in any sports activities because your fat and lazy and im playing it off like im not dumb wow you are really really mental
2:57pmAlec

Still not talking proper, my good sir.

The internet is going to lol so much with this conversation.
2:58pmMalik

yeah at your ass
2:58pmAlec

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHAT?!?!?!
2:59pmMalik

leave me alone and ill leave u alone
3:00pmAlec

Right-o.
3:00pmMalik

ok

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Oh come on now.

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Ollie's mom has got it goin' on
Ollie's mom has got it goin' on
Ollie's mom has got it goin' on
Ollie's mom has got it goin' on

Ollie, can I come over after school? (after school)
We can hang around by the pool (hang by the pool)
Did your mom get back from her business trip? (business trip)
Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip? (give me the slip)

You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see

Ollie's mom has got it goin' on
Ollie's all I want and I've waited for so long
Ollie, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Ollie's mom

Ollie's mom has got it goin' on
Ollie's mom has got it goin' on

Ollie, do you remember when I mowed your lawn? (mowed your lawn)
Your mom came out with just a towel on (towel on)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared (the way she stared)
And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there" (a spot over there)

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since your dad walked out, your mom could use a guy like me

Ollie's mom has got it goin' on
Ollie's all I want, and I've waited so long
Ollie, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be fucking hot as shit,
but I'm in love with Ollie's mom

Ollie's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long,
Ollie can't you see you're just not the dude for me,
I know it might be wrong but oh oh
(I know it might be wrong)
I'm in love with (Ollie's mom oh oh)
(Ollie's mom oh oh)

I'm in love with Ollie's mom!

Updated: 09/25/09 6:43 PM 2 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

Malachi117 and Makeshift are now my favorite people here on newgrounds.

Updated: 09/14/09 8:47 PM 18 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

I had a scary dream last night.

Wanna know about it?

Okay, I was running through this pool of marshmellows in my flip-flops, right? Then the manager comes up to me and he starts going, "AHMMMMHMMMMMMMAHHMMMM." There was only 18 seconds left to eject before the bowling alley closed, and Tom, you were there, but you didn't look like Tom and that was freaking me out! I love cheese!

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Can't stop the tickles.
They call me Dr. Giggles.
It's o-o-o-off the chizzle
Fo' shizzle dizzle
I'm bangin' with the b-o-t-o-dizzle
with wiffles
'cause I dribble like I'm rubbing on nipples.
Gotta get out the pickle
Make it rain with the ripples.
Let my candy rum trickle
Get you buzzed with double triples.
Getting head in, rentals
Avoiding the parentals.
This is ghetto, plain and simple
with the down beat tempo.

Oh, no.
They be hatin' us.
'Cause we're glamorous.
They be hatin' us.
'Cause I'm fabulous.
Can't stop me once I've started,
Baby, got me retarded.
Don't phunk-phunk-phunk-phunk
with my heart.

LET'S GOOOOO.

Chorus:
Chop, chop, chop you up.
Ima monster (hah hah hah)
Eat you like a cannibal,
Spit you out like an animal. (x2)

Slice, slice, slice you up.
Ima monster (hah hah hah)
Cut you up, I'll slice and dice
Serve you up as cold as ice. (x2)

Go 'head girl, shake that butt.
Make me freakin' bust a nut.
Crank that music,
Let's get wasted, super *UHN.
Guess what, honey. I'm a freak.
I'm a freak inside the sheets.
Rough, tough, naughty nurse.
Rip it up, now make it hurt.
Don't stop, get it, get it!
Last for hours, not for minutes.
Open wide for my surprise,
Scratch and blow for your grand prize.
Smear it on your plastic face,
Leave you with a sweeter taste.
Super soaker on your chest,
Let it drip down on your breast.

LET'S GOOOOOO.
(Chorus)

Haters make me famous (x5)

(Chorus)

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If you're gay, comment on this news post.

Updated: 08/03/09 10:36 PM 1 comment | Log in to comment! | Share this!

Tosh.0 makes up for Comedy Central being utter shit.

So support him by illeagally downloading his album.

Edit: Second Album: Completely Serious

Also, I'm a troooolllllllllllllll.

Updated: 07/29/09 3:30 PM 1 comment | Log in to comment! | Share this!